Friday, March 28, 2008

too many wonderful things

Ever since I was little, I have always saved magazine clippings. I would tear pages out of the Sears and JCPenney catalogs, and furnish the rooms in my little house that I would draw. I would cut out pictures of things I wanted to make when I was older. I would cut out whole familys and use them for paper dolls. I have always had an obsession with those glossy colored pages.

As a senior in high school, I figured I would be moving away some day, and would need to cook, and I started cutting out recipes. (I had to check with mom first, as she herself is a champion recipe clipper-perhaps it is a genetic thing).

Then college kind of got in the way, what with working all of my jobs, and homework, and such. And since I was moving all of the time, it made no sense to haul all of that paper around. So they were parked in a closet in my room at home.

But I kept clipping, and once Mike and I finally got married and somewhat settled in down in Bloomington, the clipping became even more profuse. Because someday I would have a house, and maybe I would want the bathroom to look just like that picture. Or I would plant those flowers. So the files grew.

Right now there is a small semblance of organization. I have a file cabinet, the top drawer is all recipes, organized by type. The bottom drawer is house stuff, and crafts, and gardening. But I haven't filed anything since I was on bed rest with Charlie, so that would be 10 years ago. And I keep clipping. So I now have several storage boxes full of clippings to go through, and sort, and trim, and file. this really the best use of my time? Because I honestly don't remember the last time I actually looked in that file cabinet for something.

So this would be a big deal. Shall I just throw it all away? Recycle it? Without even looking at it? Will I feel a huge sense of release, and relief? Or will a small part of me feel like it is missing?

I wonder if any shrinks read my blog, and if they do, are they shaking their heads in wonder, and thinking perhaps they need me to start some counseling?

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