it's my job...

...to be better than the best, and that makes the day for me...(who knows the singer of this one?)

This job of motherhood is full of joy, and also a tough one on many days. When they are babies, tough is not getting enough sleep, and worrying over a fever. As toddlers, you hope they don't fall and break their nose, or ingest something dangerous, or run into the street the one second you aren't watching them. As they enter school, you hope that other kids will be kind to them, and that the teacher will know what they need, and that they won't miss you too much when they are gone.

When they are eleven, going on sixteen, you want them to branch out, test their wings, and try new things. And push them a little when they want to quit.

This has been a challenging summer for Charlie. He has now competed in two enduros and a hair scramble on his dirt bike, and has decided he really doesn't like it. There are only two races left, and we are encouraging him to finish out the season.

He started guitar lessons in June, and yesterday asked if he could quit, as it is much harder than he expected, and "really isn't any fun". I just paid for lessons through August yesterday, and we are encouraging him to stick with it.

He did his first whole week of camping in the great outdoors this year. He wanted me to come and get him on Weds., and I didn't, and he made it through the week.

He is at football camp this week, there at least 1oo boys out there playing, and he doesn't know a single one of them. But he loves football, and wants to learn, and is getting through it. He hasn't asked to quit, but I can tell it is kind of tough on him, and he confided that some of the kids laugh when you miss the ball, or trip during an exercise. I advised him, in my best mom imitation, to just ignore them. He will survive, and will have learned a lot.

This is my job, and every day I still question whether I am doing it right. I want Charlie to be strong, and independent, and be able to make good decisions without his parents telling him what to do. I want to be there when he needs advice, or a shoulder to cry on, but I want him to rely on himself, and his own judgement.

I think we all just need a vacation, and to make sure the rest of the summer is fun, and not full of obligations. We are heading to the Black Hills next week, I am thinking all of that open country and fresh air will give us all room to breathe.