Sunday, May 10, 2009

mom stuff

I had always planned to be a mother, from the time I was little and took care of my dolls, or helped my mom as a five year old when my baby brother was born. I helped raise my little sister (being 12 years older than her) and was the neighborhood babysitter. So I knew it was my destiny.

Fate jumped in, to let me know it wasn't quite that easy. After nearly five years, lots of medical intervention, miscarriages, money, and seventeen cycles of AI, we were blessed with our miracle kid, Charlie. We had already been married for 10 years at that point, so we were more than ready.

Pure joy and elation was often tempered with reality in that first year-I would feel guilty if I wasn't absolutely happy being a mom all the time. After all I had been through, I had no right to complain!

But I realized that it was okay, as being a parent is awfully hard. The best part about becoming a parent: letting go of any resentment I harbored over my own childhood, as I realized that my parents (who had me when they were 19, after 9 months of marriage) did the very best they could.

Every night, on my way to dreamland, I think about the day, and hope that I have done the best I can for my son. Without doing too much, and letting him grow into the person he needs to be. Hoping I am giving him the skills to be strong, yet kind, and to provide a home that he will always want to come back to, ears that will always listen, and arms that are ready for a hug.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful moms I know. I have learned much from all of you, and am so happy to share this really good life with dear friends, as we watch our children grow.

2 comments:

  1. Happy Mother's Day to one of the VERY best mom's EVER EVER EVER!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You write such sweet things about motherhood. It has to be life's greatest joy (mixed with a bit of sorrow, to be sure).

    ReplyDelete

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