our own competition

The drama of the Olympics is amazing.  The personal stories of the athletes, the sacrifices they make for their sport, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat.

Other than the guy who owns Dave's Pizza in Bemidji, who went to the last Olympics for curling, (at least six degrees of separation) I doubt I will ever have any connection to the big games.  (Unless of course my niece Savanna, or her brother Kaleb end up playing hockey for Team USA someday.  You never know...)

In the meantime, I want to experience some of that excitement for myself.  So I think we could have our own form of competition.  Events will include:

Grocery Storecross-participants will whip through SuperTarget with their grocery list, points will be given for style and most money saved with coupons, it will be a timed event.  This event will of course be sponsored by Target, their endorsed celebrities will bag your groceries, (extra points for bringing your own reusable bags).

Picture Hanging-blank walls will be provided, along with framed art and photos.  Participants will be required to hang them with only a hammer and nail, no measuring devices allowed.  This will also be a timed event, with points given for technical merit and showmanship.  This event will be sponsored by Crate and Barrel, and will be conducted in one of their flagship stores.  Points deducted for getting dust on their glass shelves.

Laundry Luge-how many loads of laundry can you complete in a 24 hour period?  (Tracy M, I know you have been practicing for this one....)  Tide of course will sponsor, participants can choose from standard or front loading model machines-stain removal optional, but points will be awarded for the brightness of your whites.

Sheet Folding-start practicing the corners on those fitted sheets now!  Challengers must fold full sets of sheets in a variety of fabrics, from 600 count cotton, to flannel, to silk, to jersey.  Martha Stewart will be our celebrity judge, you will be awarded on technical merit and showmanship. 


And the winners?  No medals in this event.  Third place finishers will receive a pedicure/manicure, second place will receive a pedicure/manicure and a large gift card to their favorite store, and the first place finisher will win a week at a spa.

I need more events, please send me your suggestions for consideration.  I will be negotiating with TV stations to see who wants to broadcast it, sounds like it is right up Bravo's alley.  And I will be contacting designers to come up with our team uniforms, and of course lining up sponsors.  You know, official coffee, official wine, official pasta, official chocolate.....

Start training now!